I don’t attend many readings, launches, book fairs, etc. I mark them on my calendar, but I don’t go. And when I do I feel anxious on the way, uncomfortable during, and if a wave of nausea rolls in I generally run for the hills. Drinks help but are not always available. I went to four events last year and made a goal to go to six this year. I know, not much for a so-called writer, but hey, it’s progress.
At a recent reading I was flushed the entire hour. That was a new one. Diggie called it second-hand embarrasment. She mentioned a shy friend that could not stand being witness to public speaking (plays included) as it made her extremely uncomfortable. I love that turn, although it presumes that readers are embarrassed. Anxious maybe, but you have to be proud to read your work. I will call my condition second-hand projected reading anxiety.
Book launch tomorrow. Friends and beer on hand. Better. I think about reading my own work. Maybe, one day.